Talking about Bulimia

Hey.

     We are all different to the degree that we have our needs at various levels. Some people are able to go into remission with little in the way of support of others. Some need all the support that they can gather from most everyone they know. Most of us are in the middle.

     I think it's important to share information about my addictions. The reason being that I need to have new ideas and tools and perspective to facilitate change. I don't believe that we can change with the same mental programs that keep us addicted in the first place. We need new information.

     So a friend and I who went into recovery together were talking about how that works specifically with bulimia . My take on talking about my bulimia initially was that it was embarrassing and "others" would think less of me. I mean after all how could I possibly explain my behavior and thoughts to persons who can't possibly understand?

     My friend and I realized that one of the great things about a website specific to bulimia was that we could "practice" disclosure in a fairly safe environment. One where we were fairly sure we were talking to other people who were experiencing the same problem on a similar level.

And it works.

     Specifically for giving myself permission to share my struggles with others. Does any site offer cures? No. Everyone will have their own level and mechanics for remission from any behavior. Do sites offer tools? Yes. Definitely. If you find a site you like and continue to stay on it you will soon find people willing to share whatever works for them. Then if you become "stuck" or "lapse" or find yourself needing new tools you will have a whole box of them.

     Telling family and friends? Although most of us would rather die than do so, the odd part about it is that:

1. Lots more people "know" there is something wrong than we give them credit for. They simply may not know what or are suffering embarrassment over discussing the issue.
2. We have this "dramatic" image in our heads about responses. Listen. People who love you will care in a good way. They will offer what support they can. They may respond dramatically for the first day. Then? They get on with life. Just like we do.
3. The relief from telling people really helps us tackle the problem head on. No more being able to hide from others and therefore ourselves. A striking point in remission.

     Someone once said that if you tell the truth you never have to try to remember anything. So telling people I care about who and what I am only results in me being comfortable with me.

     My suggestion is to look at the different sites and get a handle of the "flavor" of the site and how things are handled. Join a site and read it everyday. Find yourself a name you like. Then use it and start sharing. Fear is a paper tiger. Fear is always bigger in our heads than in reality.

In Loving Kindness
Bryan