It took some time but I realized that on any given evening I could be found watching movies, (I love watching DVD) and eating or reading, (I love reading) and eating. I had very little idea that what I was doing was simply multiplying the chances of a binge and purge.
And it did.
What I was doing was not feeding hunger but feeding and soothing my emotional structure. Food and purge equals numbness and OK feelings. Shit what was I thinking of?
Finally, after some suffering, I made the connection and proceeded to engage in the struggle to move away from the activities that were found to be enablers. It took me some time to develop options but what I really found was I needed to get up off my ass and find some other things to do.
I found that doing two things at once enabled me to eat food without really feeling or thinking about it. I could go through enormous amounts of food and not remember. At the same time I wouldn't really remember what I read or watched. The two went together. They distracted each other from either one being aware.
So the struggle was to, in effect, get past two habits that both enabled each other to survive. Once I realized this it answered lots of questions about why I was having such a hard time with the binges and purging at night.
What worked?
I started going to a local coffee shop in the evenings after a reasonable meal and worked on writing and reviewing my blogs and books. I would go to the library and do the same thing. Sometimes I would go out and take care of shopping that I would usually do on weekends. I made sure that my martial arts classes were at night and not during the day. I went to the gym at night and changed my workouts for one evening.
It worked.
Doing something different and changing my environment worked.
I would like to hear what works for you.
Bryan
I found that doing two things at once enabled me to eat food without really feeling or thinking about it. I could go through enormous amounts of food and not remember. At the same time I wouldn't really remember what I read or watched. The two went together. They distracted each other from either one being aware.
So the struggle was to, in effect, get past two habits that both enabled each other to survive. Once I realized this it answered lots of questions about why I was having such a hard time with the binges and purging at night.
What worked?
I started going to a local coffee shop in the evenings after a reasonable meal and worked on writing and reviewing my blogs and books. I would go to the library and do the same thing. Sometimes I would go out and take care of shopping that I would usually do on weekends. I made sure that my martial arts classes were at night and not during the day. I went to the gym at night and changed my workouts for one evening.
It worked.
Doing something different and changing my environment worked.
I would like to hear what works for you.
Bryan
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