Drama in Action |
Yes it does.
Funny how bulimia goes hand in hand with drama and the drama goes hand in hand with emotions and the whole stupid thing is built on our perspective.
There are a few things that help with gaining perspective and defeating drama.
1. LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICIURE: We are not bulimia. Bulimia is something that we have. We also, if looking at it in the big view, notice that there is so much more to us than just being bulimic. We are family members, friends, lovers, workers, spiritual, caring, kind, and you can add the next word, people. Sometimes we just accept that bulimia is who we are, it;'s not. Bulimia has a presence of it's own and it really wants to stay in control. What better way than to convince us of how overwhelmed and weak we are? Of course it's a lie. So an awareness of the other "parts" of us is really important to putting bulimia in its right place.
2. "WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO GROWS" David Krech
I read lots of information on Constructive Living. Books by David Krech and David Reynolds. Why?Because slowly and surely during the past year I am really starting to pay attention to what's really important to the quality of my life.
Does this mean ignoring bulimia will somehow cause it to diminish and increase my quality of life? No of course not. But if we spend all of our time with the narrow focus of "being bulimia" what we really do is "grow" the bulimia. Honestly that's not going to facilitate change. If anything bulimia becomes our world. It's not. The world is really big and beautiful and interesting.
There is a time and a place for processing what we need to do to change our relationship with our bulimic behavior. Good. Then get on with the life you have and see what needs to be done.
3. "THE WORLD IS NOT UP OR DOWN, YES OR NO, RIGHT OR LEFT" And as much as we divide the world into two separate "camps" we find that in the long run this kind of thinking does nothing more than limit out options. We either go one way or the other. In reality the world is full of options and decisions about them. Why give power to an addiction by limiting our options?
Much of this thinking comes from our conditioning that says " We must do things the "right" way and perfectly each time." The more perspective I gain the more crazy that thought seems to be. Options abound, Don't allow bulimia to convince you that you only have one or two options.
Example: Many bulimics processing recovery think in terms of success measured in terms of entire "days" or a twenty four hour period. So if some one has a bulimic episode they immediately "write off" the rest of the day which only serves to increase more episode that only makes it harder to change behavior the next twenty four hour period. Solution? Think about your recovery in small manageable bits of time. Five minutes an hour or a few hours. If you have a bulimic episode you immediately move into the next period of recovery you have chosen. It's easy to let the episode dictate the day. Let it go and walk away. Minimize the bulimic events power.
4. WE DECIDE THAT SINCE WE ARE BULIMIC THAT WE ARE "HORRIBLE" PEOPLE
This is one that most of us decide early in the bulimic addiction. We decide that this is so horrible that we 'Hide ourselves" from others, avoid friendships, or we "pretend" that we are not suffering and live a life of lies and deceit while appearing what we hope is "normal."
I spent a lot of my life as a counselor. I worked with drug addiction, family dynamics, alcohol addiction, gender issues, and depression.a I know that bulimia is one of the most isolating of addictions. Purging food is something that most of us bear in shame. We consider this as an abuse issue that will horrify others. So we suffer in isolation.
The first step. One of the nice things about the Internet is the anonymous nature of typing and text to others. So my encouragement is to start not only reading about bulimia on blogs like this one and the several sites on the web that deal with bulimia. But also become active with other bulimics who are doing the same thing you are, Recovering. Respond to blogs, letters, and comments made in this arena. No judgement or opinions needed. Everyone has a common interest recovery. Take a risk. Tell someone you trust about your disorder. Yes I know that this feels really scary and it seems like it would be easier to deal with this after you are in recovery but the things I found about telling someone are these. People were more accepting of me than I was. Almost everyone I told reacted with concern not with a reaction of horror and revulsion. They sought to understand what was going on and committed to helping me recover. No more problems with eating out, or having to go to buffet's, or eating scary foods. My wife became my biggest supporter and my few friends made concessions to help me recover. It was a huge relief. The secret was out and I could move on. By the way I decided that anyone who wasn't able to accept this about me was not worth knowing. I'm the one who has to look in the mirror in the morning and live with me. It's a good way to see who cares and who doesn't.
5. HAVING A SENSE OF BEING GRATEFUL. To the people who support me, to the individuals in the healing and recovering community, to my environment that supports me, and you the reader of this blog to have the drive and courage to look for a better way. It is extremely difficult to be self absorbed and grateful at the same time. It's a struggle to stay depressed and grateful at the same time.
We find ourselves helping others and in turn being helped. We find acceptance by accepting others and what our actions say about who we are.
Anyone can be successful during the good times. The good times in life rarely define us as people. What really defines us is how we respond to the challenges in life. Bulimia is a challenge. One that we can challenge, redefine, and win.
How do you address this issue? How do you minimize the drama of bulimia and it's impact on your life? Suggestions, comments, and thoughts are welcome.
Thank you!
Bryan
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