Default is not Our Fault. Bulimia and Making Changes for Good!

       




    I'M EITHER AC/DC'S BIGGEST FAN OR MY DEFAULT POSITION NEEDS TO CHANGE!

BULIMIA AND MAKING CHANGES FOR GOOD!!1

        Our bodies will reach a "normalcy" concerning almost any behavior or action if done enough.So binge and purge slowly starts to train the body to accept this as a "normal" event. So just like exercise, learning to ski, playing football, learning the drums, singing, skydiving, or any other physical activity, the body learns to normalize it.

        Our minds will also start to adjust to any actions, thoughts, emotions, and thinking that is consistent and constant. So learning math, a new language, meditation, music, quantum physics, or any other "mind exercise" will soon "normalize" the mind. 

        This can be a good thing, a neutral thing, a challenging thing, a damaging thing, all of these modes are dependent on what you are using it for. What is your intent? There are times that bulimia seems to be working to achieve a "goal" and we are momentarily satisfied with the bulimic cycle. Other times, and this gradually starts to increase, we see the behavior for the less than helpful action that it truly is. 

        Bulimia has intent. It's intent is to "artificially" shape the body and keep weight off of our frame. We struggle with body image. Out minds will continue to convince us that we carry too much weight. We become focused on "weight bearing' areas, the face, stomach, legs and butt. Our minds become delusional about how we feel and look to others and ourselves. 

        Initially bulimia feels like a choice and may work. Unfortunately it stops working because we are behaving at odds with our own survival.   

        Our bodies see this B&P cycle as an emergency starvation mode and starts to store fat to ensure survival and at the same time uses this mode as a default mode that "numbs" the mind and divorces part of us from reality. 

        And so this becomes our "Default' position. We will find ourselves automatically returning to the default mode whenever we feel, pressured and anxious, lonely, bored, less than, more than, enthused, angry, and well you can fill in how this works for you.

        Bulimia becomes an answer to everything. It appears to us as a solution to the way we look and feel. Until the emotional and biological and social damages  become so severe we can't pretend that bulimia works anymore.

This cycle of bulimia is not our fault.

Why does bulimia happen? 

        Every single person has their own answer to that question. In general the action has to do with body image and emotions. It reaches further in to a need to be accepted by the social framework in which we exist. It comes from the complexity of being conditioned and raised by the society and culture we have been immersed in since birth.

So the question is how do we "get out" of this default cycle? We will need to make some decisions and then choices. 

• Decide that it will take time. Become aware that we don't have to like it but we do need to accept it. It's going to take some time. Everything we endeavor to do will take some measure of time. Accept this and get started. We didn't become bulimic overnight and we won't become abstinent overnight either.
• Take a stance on perspective. Bulimic behavior is not the only way to define yourself. All of us have many facets like the facets on a cut diamond. A lot of times we "see" ourselves as  bulimic. Yes we are. And we are also so many other things. Don't lose sight of this it is one of the first steps of breaking out of the new norm (bulimic behavior) that we establish.
• Quit lying to yourself. People don't want to hear this. I understand. But we lie to ourselves constantly about the behaviors and false thinking that is underlying our behavior. I managed to convince myself that it was "OK" to purge in restaurant restrooms. Really? It's a healthy thing to do that? I would "plan" to do that on the way to the restaurant hours before going. I wasn't intentionally doing it to hurt myself but had convinced myself that it was OK. 
• Add on. We have choices concerning out behaviors. Much of trying to remain abstinent is a struggle to "get rid" of some thoughts and behaviors. What we sometimes end up focusing on is the need to "remove" something from our lives forgetting that we also need to add something.We can't just create holes in our lives and expect that nothing needs to replace them. So we need to gradually add new behaviors as we remove old ones. Do something else. 
• Change scheduling. The "default cycle' exists because we have solid state behaviors that don't change. So what we do generally remains the same. So if you "read" while binging then not binging is going to create a problem if you continue to "read" at the same time. Solution? If you read then read somewhere else. Go somewhere different to read. Don't insert yourself in the same old chair, in the same old room, at the same old time, and expect that reading will not encourage you to binge. Co occurring behaviors will need to be examined and changed.

        All this is going to take some time. And you can do it. The result will be a new default position and if it seems like a lot of work at first understand that it's going to become more normalized as time goes on. Bulimia's conditioning is very severe and constrictive. Be kind to yourself while you are making changes.

Let me know how this works for you. Helping others helps me. Please add on to this post if you have further ideas on making this work!!.

Keep going. Stay even!!

Bryan